Drought, freezing temperatures and disease have taken a major toll on the citrus trees in our backyard. Where four healthy orange trees once stood tall and strong, bursting with fragrant white blossoms every spring and delicious fruit every winter – only one remains. And it’s a deformed shadow of its former self. The lemon trees that two years ago supplied the zesty ingredients for a dozen bottles of Christmas Limoncello haven’t produced a single fruit since.

It wasn’t one particular thing or one terrible season that wreaked havoc on our trees. It’s been an accumulation of various different insults that finally sapped the life from those hardworking producers that had been so good to us for so many years. Along with a fair measure of complacency on my part.

For someone who grew up in suburban New York and New Jersey, the idea that I could actually grow oranges in my backyard was nothing less than magical. And when the first trees we planted started bearing fruit, I was so excited, I would check on their progress almost daily, amazed that I might soon have my own fruit – without even going to the grocery store!

Once the trees were established, our annual Vitamin C bonanza was so reliable, I just assumed they would keep on producing year after year, so I didn’t pay attention to some of the early signals that they were starting to struggle.

Fast forward through several summers of extended drought, record-breaking cold winters, assorted airborne diseases and fungi – and here I am with a single misshapen (but still modestly fruit-bearing) orange tree and several young, non-producing saplings we have planted to replace the ones we lost.

I’ve gleaned a lot from this citrus saga, and I know there is still a lot more I need to understand about the proper care and nurturing of citrus trees in the fluctuating climate of Tallahassee.

More importantly, I’ve also realized the situation in my backyard is a striking parallel to so many other areas of my life – especially my relationships – that I tend to take for granted, by allowing myself to become “too busy” to afford them the time and care they deserve.

SO – it’s the first week of January – and in my book, that means we are still in the New Year’s “resolution window”. It’s a perfect time to set parallel goals for my citrus trees – and my relationships – in 2026.

Here are my top five:

1. I will take the time to research and learn more about my trees and plants so I can give them what they need to grow and stay healthy. I will ask my friends and family more questions (and listen to their answers) so I can better understand how best to love and support them – and not offend.
2. I won’t ignore early symptoms of disease or stress in my plants and trees and will apply (legitimate) remedies to keep them healthy and alive. I won’t avoid uncomfortable conversations with people I care about if I honestly believe it will be good for our relationship.
3. I will try hard to rehabilitate a plant before assigning it to the compost pile. I won’t be too quick to give up on a relationship. I will love stubbornly and forgivingly, remembering that healing is a process, and some hurts run deep.
4. I will remember to fertilize and water my plants regularly. I will try to be an encourager to the people I care about – and remind them more frequently of the qualities I admire about them and how thankful I am for them.
5. I will check in on my plants more regularly – especially in bad weather. I will check in more often with family and friends – and I won’t keep track of whose “turn” it is.

And about that sole-surviving orange tree – the one whose deep roots and strong trunk survived the elements and didn’t give up on me? I’ve decided to name it the “Tree of Forgiveness” in honor of the late singer-songwriter John Prine’s final album – check it out, if you haven’t heard it. The Tree of Forgiveness will be a steady reminder for me to cherish and care for the people and living things I love while they are still here. And to never underestimate the redemptive power of forgiveness. Both received and offered.

“…clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.” Colossians 3:12-13