While just about every other flowering plant in my backyard has said goodbye to the 2025 summer season, that Mexican sunflower bush I wrote about back in July continues to bloom with vibrant, deep orange gusto. Its flowers attract a daily crowd of butterflies, and I see new buds forming every time I walk past.

Alongside the new buds and full flowers, there are also lots of spent blooms and unproductive stalks. I have tried to be diligent about periodically “deadheading” the older growth and I think it is paying off. While deadheading is not recommended for all flowering plants, “gardeners in the know” (i.e., the University of Florida Extension Office) recommend deadheading for some plants as a regular maintenance practice  throughout the growing season to allow them to keep producing new blossoms.

The science behind deadheading proposes that when dead blooms are left clinging to flowering plants, they sap the nutrition and strength from the core of the plants and rob them of the energy to produce new and colorful blooms. After a plant is finished flowering, it uses all its energy to form new seeds. 

Well, I think my life could use some regular deadheading, too.

At my age, I officially have more years behind me than in front of me (unless of course, I live past 120). Over the past six-plus decades, I have accumulated lots of spent blossoms:  good memories and difficult memories; successes and failures; moments I cherish and moments I regret.

What am I supposed to do with all of that? I’d love to believe I can harvest the experiences I’ve had – the good, the bad and the ugly – into new seasons of growth and flourishing. But to move forward, I know I can’t spend my energy hanging onto the past, nostalgically remembering the good times, or sadly regretting the losses and difficult times.

I need to deadhead my spent blossoms and make room for new growth.

Socrates supposedly once cautioned, “the unexamined life is not worth living” – and I agree with him. It’s important to look back and honestly evaluate the past to see how it has influenced the person we are today. But self-examination should be a step in the process of moving forward. Not the destination. And the past can’t help us continue growing unless we allow its seeds to fertilize our future.

My Mexican sunflower plant has less blooming time in front of it than behind it. So maybe I detect a sense of urgency in the proliferation of blossoms it continues to produce?

I want to have a similar sense of urgency that drives the way I spend the years still in front of me. I want to harvest the lessons I’ve learned from past mistakes to make better choices and reorder my priorities. I want to prune away the habits and grudges I’ve been carrying and make room for a more open mind and more generous spirit.

I want to remember the occasions that produced great joy and gratitude for me and my family so I can replant those seeds to create new occasions for joy.

Deadheading in your garden isn’t a “one and done” effort. As long as there are flowers on your plants, there will also be spent blossoms that need to be removed to make room for newer, healthier growth.

Deadheading in my life should also be a continuous process. I’d like to travel forward with less baggage siphoning my energy. And I hope I can harvest the lessons I have learned from the past to live more purposefully, more generously and more joyfully for the years still in front of me.

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19